BTBOB Method of Getting Hotter
How to go from being really, really good looking to really, really, really good looking.
I hope the new year has been treating you well, thus far. Mine has been pretty damn great minus getting nailed by whatever virus/cold that came flying through my neck of the woods in January.
The sick part stunk but good came out of it. I coughed so hard I did something to a rib. File that under ‘stunk’.
The good part of it though was that it helped me go from being a really really good looking person to a really really really good looking person.
How? Well, the coughs strengthened and tightened my abs like an internal shake weight working 24/7. In other words I went from fluffy to buffy in no time fat. And my inability to keep anything down (as in food or nourishment) made me lose weight. Or drink Vodka. Voila. Done.
And there is a difference between the way people treat a really, really, really good looking person vs. just a really, really good looking person. There just is. Like the other day the lady who always forgets to add the Inferno hot sauce to my Macho Chicken Burrito with no lettuce or tomatoes order didn’t. I used to think it was because she didn’t like me. Everyone else always gets it right and puts the Inferno in my bag. But it had nothing to do with like. It was because I was one ‘really’ short of being Inferno hot sauce material. Harsh but true. This is L.A.
3 ‘Really’s” = Inferno Hot Sauce. 2 ‘Really’s = Getting handed the keys because someone mistakes you for the valet while standing in front of the restaurant your really really really really good looking sister took you to, having a cigarette.
Fuck yes, take it from me – hop on the next flu train that comes around the bend the next time you start hearing people start talking about it. If you can’t wait that long I suggest borrowing a friend or family member’s kid if you don’t have one of your own and taking them to a place where tiny drunkards (aka; kids) congregate like Kids Space in Pasadena (aka; A Petri Dish). It is both charming and gross. Works every time.
Or just grab yourself a pair of these when they come out. (Which will be the beginning of next month).